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journal of events regarding baker brian the man who once was. as hey continue their personality smear and accusatory gestures all day long and night. latest is a memeory i shared with them approx 2 years ago reharding my normality around family members the last known memory before mind control regarding my good status as a human male. somehow in this memeory they see me acting as though i want not to be a part of the goings on and somehow attribute this to a reason for mind control/ this was partly dissolved as to my personality and perhaps in a bad mood... there was nothing in my memory of any kind of worry for beeing some freak and people finding out.. i know im solid my whole life re family and enjoyed beeing a part of the family,,anbd even regarded myself a family man,,,, my lifes been picked apart every normal situation made to looj abnormal... ie....a mothers question to me regarding her little girl and if she should wear a shirt or not at 10... to me at the time and given who was concerned was not neccesary as the age of the girl was too young in my opinion as to worry that any normal person would look at her,,, as i was not a concern nor hewr mother which are the two parties involved in my mind,,, thoughts of the bad people in the world were not in my mind... jut her mother asking this question brings a normality to the event,,obviouseley there are abnormal persons in the world and im sure her mothwer knew that before asking me the question..thats a given in life...what isnt is whos around and how u think of people around ie there good or bad...my thoughts are that people are goood they relate these two situatiobns as opposing,,,,i commented that if a man doesnt feel necceraliy in charge or doesnt whant to get involved with young children in a given situation this can be caused from things like feeling alienated or the black sheep phylosiphy..or atributed to a bad mood....not knowing a father or feeling he looks at me low is a reason for shying away like there his kids and im not worthy in a way to be around only has to do with self esteem..knowing of that in the world,,age wouldnt matter..that word signifies kids,,, period...one situation regarding anothers mind of you..not understanding you or knowing you any known problem of man can come into the mind,,,doesnt have to but one can know of that in society and until a man is knownn he could doubt another doubting him...theres no limit to a mans paranoia of what abother could think of him. good human nature phylosephy sjows this..\ a mans thoughts not knowing another man... mqany types of man in the world.. if man has no self identiy as he is not known by others..he will most certantly in a gebneral way not not know that a man doesnt understand him... to say man is good is to understanfd that man is held up by another man,,, his instictual caring is that which strenghtens hm by joining him with others..if abother worked for me in the way of my needs instead of me or knew me as much as i know myself..thered be no need to communicate in terms of gaining a positive affirming reaction of you know me.... an animal procreates...it doe snot think of how it does as right or wrong... my mind control experience forced me to understand mans thinking in terms of his nature,, one could never make food illegal or the act of eating..one would think... however born into a world where sauy it already was illegal and one would be condiderd a miscreant if he fed himmself// one could say the nature of it is selphish he does it for the wrong reason and one could not trust abother with this,, might he eat his children if they tasted good... however much man is trusted with himmself is how much he will know about himmself... we are doubtful of what weve become as man has no ability to do on his own what even monkeys do on there own... id say a monkey needs a law before a man because he is not as smart.. man beeing good depends on man understanding him as a whole.... set apart as one is a serial killer or one.. my thoughts only think in terms of the unknown or bad in man as by my own feeling i can not know the one who controlds me only as questions as aqccusations....my thoughts become reversed upon what another could possibly think of me in a bad motive way,,,mans thoughts has to care what others actually think we may say we dont actually care thats different im saying his thughts on there own withourt the abiliyt to control do this,,, as neccesary to survive.. as one must know another one must know himmself as the self is comprised of thoughts of others mostly to be understood...if man is in a state of non knowing... this causes doubt in his self ..it also causes an unbfgaiur action to be caused upon him as where,, hedeserves fair treatment as another man,, your thoughts must be based in evidence as far as to what they say,, you cannot just say anything opinion must be based upon qright infomation...tests always that is sstating what has not happenned and what i in my life have made not happen your leaving me no room to live as saying even though i did right im still going to be giult....ivesaid love comes before ..ive sai d im fine with the law,,,,ive demonstarted my carring for the girl.... that was not anything harmful as long as she knew i was good and that i cared for her..as i dont want her thoughts to go haywire as to forget how she got up there,,,as other examples in life edianne drunk and left her alone yoing too,,, another youjbger wwwwoman needed a ride and she thought i wanted sex nope....gor almost sytabbed over people getting me wrog...... marthat singing to me learning of her roots.....